The Gray Old Mare, She Ain't What She Used to Be

Once upon a time, a man with a vision started a magazine devoted to African-Americans. their lives, their struggles, and their beauty. It was called Ebony, the finest and most exquisite color on a palette. African-Americans took pride in buying and reading that magazine because it proved to other races that we were more than just a bunch of Soul Train dancers. We were a group of intellectuals focused on becoming better than what we were and we were going help each other get better and better everyday. I grew up in a household where Ebony and Jet magazines were staples on the coffee table. The women were beautiful models. The men were duplicates of Billy Dee Williams. The articles (from what I was told) were about real issues affecting African-Americans across that country and political leaders that should be supported for their tireless efforts to uplift the race. In short, Ebony and Jet were our connections and representations in the real world.
Today, I was on a popular social networking site where a "friend" of mine named Roland Martin was urging people to buy Ebony and Jet. I quickly thought about what those publications meant to my people and I sided with him immediately. Then I started thinking "when was the last time I bought and Ebony or Jet Magazine?" Well...uhhh...it was around...I was reading and article about... How about NEVER . I don't even look at that magazine anymore. Why? Because it just ain't what it used to be. It no longer relates to my life or enlightens me. The writing (not that I'm a stellar writer myself. I'll admit I have a ways to go) is not engaging and seems a little distant. There's no emotion. There's no call for action. There's very little spotlight on the leaders of today who are making a difference in our world. I apologize for my lack of loyalty but I don't care about how many rooms are in this celebrity's home. I can't keep up with (nor do I want to) that 10 top rank cutest Hollywood couples. Those things are big turn offs although I'm sure they are big earning articles for the publications. I love Tyler Perry but his movies do not make a great basis for a feature article. How did Tyler get to be Tyler, huh? Can you answer that with an in depth and persoanl interview, Ebony? (And yes, I saw the article about Tyler in one of their recent issues. It didn't do much for me) Jet magazine hasn't changed their layout in more than forty years and I have never seen the need for the "Beauty of the Week" (sorry fellas, that just isn't my thing). Even the font and photography of Ebony fails to thrill me. I just don't have the patience. I don't have the money to waste. And I don't have the energy to support a publication that clearly doesn't go my way. It's just how I feel these days. And it's my opinion. You ain't got to like it but you better respect it.

Some invites are just the tip of the ghetto iceberg

An invitation says a lot about your function. It sets the tone, don't you agree? If the invite is tacky, that's a pretty good indication of how the event will be. Case in point, this invite I received recently for a wedding. I'm not the queen of wedding etiquette. I don't always see flaws and imperfections because I'm more of a 'whole picture' woman. But an invitation that says "monetary gifts preferred" is just freakin common (yes I said common!!!!). I'm not sure what the proper words are to beg for money at a wedding but there must be a better way to ask.

Next, the invitation didn't come with an rsvp card thingy. So how are you gonna know how many people are coming? Are you gonna just wait and see? Have a first come, first serve style reception? This is a significant point in the wedding planning because you are supposed to be...well...planning for guests. Again, I'm not an expert but come on now.

The wedding begins at 5 pm. The reception, at another location, will probably begin at 7 pm (I can't say for sure because the invitation didn't say). And on the card for the reception it clearly stated "Light refreshments will be served". So let me get this straight. You're gonna cancel my dinner hour by requesting my presence at your reception and feed me cheese and crackers? You must have bumped your head, lost your mind, smoked something crazy, I dunno. I am not gonna come to your wedding, drive to God knows where just to be served cheese and crackers and some generic soda. It's pathetic at best. Please tell me I'm wrong about this. Please tell me that it will be better than I think it will. Help me feel the love , y'all.

Lies we tell

So I was a guest caller on the Mo Stegall blog radio show today. The topic was "Healthy Relationships" and what it takes to have one. Well, my answer to that was simple: be true friends. Another listener said "honesty". That's falls under the friendship umbrella. In friendships, there's no pretending. What you see is what you get. And if you don't like what you see, you'll either tell me so or move on. Each choice is sensible and acceptable. But when you're courting, there so much lying going on you almost have to write it down so you can remember. Here's a list of the top lies people tell that can ruin the start or the continuance of a healthy relationship. These are also games people play that are just lies when you get right down to it.

• Wearing body magic suits- go to any black owned hair salon and they will know something about or sell body magic suits. It's supposed to slim you down two sizes.
  
• Not showing your whole body on Facebook or any other social network- B---- pleaze! Who are you foolin? A whole bunch of gorgeous headshots equals an ugly body underneath. Be afraid, be very afraid!!!
  
• Inflated job titles- "I am director of sales and distribution for Macy's Department Store." You're a store manager who makes less than $50,000 a year. Get over yourself.
• Size doesn't matter. Yes it does. Width and length.
  
• My baby's __________________ doesn't stay here. No he/she just stays there on Saturday night, Monday through Thursday nights after work and occasional Sundays after fakin the church into thinking y'all are gonna get married soon.
• I get tested every three months. Yeah right. And the pimples on your genitalia go away with a little Benadryl.
• A man who's got many, many, many different "little sistahs". They're f--- buddies and that's it.
  
• I don't care about those other women. Women are hard wired to be emotionally attached to a man after sex so stop playing games with yourself.
• The condom is too tight. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Nuff said.
• I own my own business. You're unemployed and too proud to beg for a job.
• I can go all night long and make you toes curl. Translation: You can go for twenty minutes while I eat Cheeze Curls. Wow! I can't wait.
• Men who only have "two kids". They have four really but the other two have baby mamas that he doesn't get along with so he has "two".

It's no wonder there are few "healthy" relationships right now. There's just too much work trying to figure out the truth.